March 20, 2011
So I have been awake for almost 24hrs and not by choice. I have so many things on my mind that I need to get some of it off of my mind before I will even be able to close my eyes and think about sleep. So here goes with the most random thoughts...
1. I'm so tired of people asking me for my advice when they just turn around and go the complete opposite direction; and then complain about it because the outcome wasn't what they wanted.
2. This storm that's going on right now is freaking me out. I've always had this fear that the palm tree next door is going to crash through my wall and kill me. I HATE that palm tree. Not only do the stupid palm frawns fly off and hit my roof during stormy weather, but in the summer the squirrels like to climb up the tree and fuck (yes I said fuck) all day long while making this ear piercing squeaking noise. Stupid frickin' palm tree.
3. I can't get passed the pain that I'm feeling in my wrist. That I've been feeling in my wrist for well over a month. It really sucks not having medical insurance and not being able to find out if my wrist is broken. But i'll deal. Except the tiger balm is starting to make my eyes water because I accidentally rubbed it off onto my pillow. Whoops.
4. The possibility that I might be diabetic is scaring the living shit out of me. I've never had anything wrong with me to that extent and I just don't know how to feel about it.
5. The walls are finally starting to close in on me. The loneliness is creeping into my brain and my heart at a faster pace than ever before. I think it's just that time of year when everything starts to unravel in my head and I think about all the losses in life and not having someone to talk to like I used to has just made it that much more difficult.
6. I want my package from amazon to arrive. I love getting birthday gifts. Especially when they consist of books and movies.
7. So much homework to do. I can't stop thinking about the different kinds of gun shot wounds, stab wounds, DNA evidence, livor and rigor mortis, and strangulations. (Lovely stuff I know. But that's what happens when you want to be a police officer).
Well, I guess that'll do for now. Hopefully this will help in relaxing my mind and get rid of the migraine I've been dealing with for three months. I guess I shall attempt sleep. Time to dream of sugar plum fairies dancing or whatever.
"I'm not asleep...
...but that doesn't mean I'm awake."