Picture Addiction...

So I've become completely addicted to those 30 Day Picture Challenge things on facebook. (I of course choose to blog about them instead of posting them on facebook, but same difference). Anyways, I have found a few more of those challenges, some longer than 30 days, and have decided to continue to post blogs accordingly. I don't always know what to say, or in the case type, so these 30 Day challenges are a way of helping me release inner emotions that I otherwise am not able to do. So bear with me people, and if anything, do the challenge yourself.

Otherwise...

...I just hope you enjoy my pictures from the world I live in.

Betrayal is the only truth that sticks...



My bulletin board of pics throughout the years

 I am addicted to pictures. I am addicted to taking them, posting them, and looking at them. I love having pictures of my family from every special event and even random moments when someone just happened to have a camera.



Jason, Kristen, and Me

 I also hate pictures. I hate looking at the happy moments I had with my family. I hate having to be reminded that everyone was happy once upon a time. I hate seeing all the smiling faces of the loved ones who have long since passed.

I hate having my heart break into a million little pieces because I no longer have family to talk to. I miss them more than they know and more than I'm willing to ever admit.

I was going to post something about this a while ago, but I knew that I shouldn't until my anger subsided to the point of where I could at least control it. A lot of things happened between certain family members and the consequences have been detrimental. I don't miss certain people and I for sure as hell don't miss the people we've all become. But I do miss certain people and the way they used to be.



Me and Dad

 Every night I spend a few hours scanning pictures into my computer so I can upload them onto various picture sites and then save them on my flash drive. Every night I hold back the tears of anger, hurt, pain, and solitude that I feel when I look at all the happy faces. Every night I think of how it used to be and how much I wish it could be again. Every night I pray that I'll wake up the next morning and it will have all been a horrible nightmare.


Every morning I wake up...

...and realize that the nightmare is just beginning.

Few of my Favorite Pictures:

Grandma's backyard...

Me and Ashley at Aunt Connie's...

Me and Jason Christmas '05

Me and Jason in Santa Cruz...

Me and Jason out in the Midwest

Our Tents and Transportation

Proud Great Uncle and Great Auntie holding Jason

Jason building forts...

Day Ten... (Messed up)

I have gotten rid of all of my friends. It's sad sometimes, but in the end it was definitely the better choice. I used to do a lot of crazy and mostly illegal things. I basically lived the rock star life of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. I have probably met every police officer in Santa Clara County, (I have NEVER been arrested nor do I have any sort of record expunged or otherwise), and with where I want to end up in life, the choices I was making just weren't working for me. The person I did the most messed up things with was Jonny. Hands down. Ever since he has left my life I no longer get into trouble of any kind, I no longer meet law enforcement officers for being in trouble, and everything I do is legal (except for maybe downloading music illegally every now and then). I miss the way my life used to be, I miss the parties and the excitement and never knowing what was going to happen from one minute to the next, but I for sure as hell am glad that I got away from all of that shit. No one thought that I could do it. No one wanted me to do it. I used to be a good person and I'm so glad that I found my true self again.

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do...

...but to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's the true strength."

-Unknown