Day Twenty-Eight... (Guilty)

The song that makes me feel guilty is "Smack my Bitch up" by Prodigy. Okay, so that doesn't exactly sound as though it's a song that would make someone feel guilty especially considering the song is techno and in no way has any downer effects to it. My ex-boyfriend/really good friend died a few years ago. He took his life when he hanged himself in the garage at his parents house. The last time I saw him was the Halloween prior to this, when we drove around blasting Prodigy, "scaring" the little kids. We ended up getting into a fight about something trivial and didn't speak. Ever again. A few months later I went by his parents' house to say Happy Birthday and try and salvage our friendship. His mom answered the door and told me about what had happened. I couldn't believe it. To this day it's still hard to comprehend, but every Halloween, I go around blasting "Smack my Bitch up" by Prodigy not only in memory of Charles, but also to remind myself that time is fleeting and you never know what tomorrow may bring.

Smack my bitch up

Day Twenty-Eight... (Fear)

Day Twenty Eight... This picture is supposed to represent something that I'm afraid of. For this day I choose a picture of being alone. I am most afraid of being alone. I have had separation anxiety for many years now because of certain things I've gone through in my life. I'm scared that I am going to end up either completely alone, no family or friends, or I'll end up as that crazy cat lady who sits on the porch yelling at little kids all day. Hahaha. That option just cracks me up. But really, being alone scares the shit out of me.

3/16/11

I am not alone...

...because loneliness is always with me.