Don't Call it a Comeback...

I'm back...

Damn. It's been a long time. Guess I got caught up in life. Which I guess can be good and bad depending on how you look at it. 2011 was a crazy year to say the least. I can't believe how many things have happened this past year. 2011 was definitely a year full of downs which  I never thought would turn into ups, but, the ups did occur. I lost my best friend, the love of my life, and a few family members in a short period of time and to top it off I quit smoking (almost two years now) and both of my parents were hit hard by the economy and its issues.I was told I had a vitamin D deficiency and that I might be diabetic. My arthritis continues to get worse even though I'm not even 25 yet and every day I wake up with a migraine. In all hoensty I never thought it was going to get better. With every passing day nothing seemed to be getting better, but boy was I wrong. I got a few odd jobs which got me out of my "cave" i so frequently isolated myself in and put a little cash in my pocket. The cash in my pocket grew to be enough money to pay for the fixes needed on my car. I had never felt more like a real person then I did when i paid for my car ($1100) with my own hard earned money. Not long after I was hired at Radioshack which is where I am still working to this day (seven months and counting. That's a record for me). Even with things starting to look up I was more stressed than ever. Money was tight. Really tight. Scary tight. I would go to bed every night and pray to God that there would be some solution to help us keep our house. I wouldn't care if I had nothing left in this world but the clothes on my back and a few good memories to keep me going, but I didn't want my parents to lose something tha they worked their entire lives to achieve. If it wasn't for certain family members and friends, we would've lost everything. And we almost did. I only make so much working a minimum wage job and only have so much to give. Then the BEST news came. My moms social security came through. It was as if an anvil had been lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again. Every month when the bills are due it's still a struggle but I have my faith restored that we'll be able to make it through. I don't wake up every morning wondering if I'm going to have a place to live the next day.

2011 may have started off on a sour note...

...but it for sure as hell ended on a sweet one.

2010: The year in full...

I have taken this idea of writing about all of the things (whether good or bad) that have happened over the past year from someone I have known my whole life. I want to dedicate this post to Camilla. She has been such an inspiration to me in more ways than one. If it wasn't for her and the things she so boldly and delicately writes about I wouldn't have had the courage or motivation to do so myself. I have found writing a blog, regardless of whether or not anyone reads it, has been incredibly helpful to me in many ways. The biggest way is that I can express how I feel without fear, get all of my feelings out in the open, and I don't have to worry so much about flying off the handle and losing my temper. So, Camilla, thank you for being such an inspiration to me and I'm sure many many others; and thank you for being such a wonderful person. I'm glad that we have reconnected in some way (through facebook or blogging). It was a joy to be your friend growing up and it's just as much if not more of a joy and enthrallment to have you as a friend now after so many years. So here's to you, Camilla, and all of my other readers... Happy New Year! and enjoy reading about my year in 2010...

• Opened the year in an abusive relationship surrounded by drugs and dishonest people
• Learned the meaning of a true friend
• Lost a loved one, a best friend, and the love of my life
• Gained new respect and understanding for myself and the world in which I live
• Received A's in my classes
• Am that much closer to fulfilling my dreams of being a police officer
• Learned how to shoot a gun
• Reconnected with old friends and family
• Dealt with the toughest times I've ever faced but continue to power through
• Got five different jobs after being unemployed for two years
• Won the battle of good versus evil in my own head
• Quit smoking and stopped all forms of drug intake
• Continued to develop my cooking skills
• Visited Cottonwood for the first time and saw everyone's head stones
• Alphabetized my movies (over 520 of them)
• Cleansed myself of all of the poisonous things and bad karma in my life
• Took as many pictures as possible to capture all the moments
• Turned 23 and had a jump house
• Went camping and was attacked by ninja raccoons
• Discovered Palo Alto has a zoo
• Only had two kidney stones instead of the normal five/year
• Made new friends that I actually trust and respect
• Closed the year with self respect, people I love and that are loyal, and have a new outlook on what's important and what exactly it is that I want

I haven't done many elaborate amazing things in my life, but I have come a long way from where I was at the beginning of the year. There have been many obstacles in the past 365 days and it has been a giant struggle to get through them. I am sure there are many more obstacles and problems to come, but I will continue to do my best to make it through and helping those I love along the way. So I welcome 2011 with open arms and hope it brings about happiness and tranquility for everyone out there.




The bad news is time flies...

...the good news is you're the pilot


HAPPY NEW YEAR!