I'm back...
Damn. It's been a long time. Guess I got caught up in life. Which I guess can be good and bad depending on how you look at it. 2011 was a crazy year to say the least. I can't believe how many things have happened this past year. 2011 was definitely a year full of downs which I never thought would turn into ups, but, the ups did occur. I lost my best friend, the love of my life, and a few family members in a short period of time and to top it off I quit smoking (almost two years now) and both of my parents were hit hard by the economy and its issues.I was told I had a vitamin D deficiency and that I might be diabetic. My arthritis continues to get worse even though I'm not even 25 yet and every day I wake up with a migraine. In all hoensty I never thought it was going to get better. With every passing day nothing seemed to be getting better, but boy was I wrong. I got a few odd jobs which got me out of my "cave" i so frequently isolated myself in and put a little cash in my pocket. The cash in my pocket grew to be enough money to pay for the fixes needed on my car. I had never felt more like a real person then I did when i paid for my car ($1100) with my own hard earned money. Not long after I was hired at Radioshack which is where I am still working to this day (seven months and counting. That's a record for me). Even with things starting to look up I was more stressed than ever. Money was tight. Really tight. Scary tight. I would go to bed every night and pray to God that there would be some solution to help us keep our house. I wouldn't care if I had nothing left in this world but the clothes on my back and a few good memories to keep me going, but I didn't want my parents to lose something tha they worked their entire lives to achieve. If it wasn't for certain family members and friends, we would've lost everything. And we almost did. I only make so much working a minimum wage job and only have so much to give. Then the BEST news came. My moms social security came through. It was as if an anvil had been lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again. Every month when the bills are due it's still a struggle but I have my faith restored that we'll be able to make it through. I don't wake up every morning wondering if I'm going to have a place to live the next day.
2011 may have started off on a sour note...
...but it for sure as hell ended on a sweet one.
Showing posts with label Believe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Believe. Show all posts
January 19, 2012
April 19, 2011
...If you don't control your temper, your temper will control you...
 |
| Reflection... |
So it's been a while since I've actually posted something other than those "picture challenge" things. And there's a reason for that. I don't like feeling vulnerable. I hate it. I don't like having my guard down, letting people in and seeing the real me, and giving people the opportunity to take advantage of me. So with that said, things have been interesting lately. I feel as though nothing is going right. Of course there's the money troubles which still hasn't gone away, and then there's the issue of my new living situation, and worst of all is my thoughts that keep me trapped inside my own head day in and day out. I'm trying to take a page out of Camilla's book, (click on her name and it will take you to her blog in case you've never read it. In which you should.), and have decided to try and think positively. She makes a very valid point. If you think in the negative then you will feel in the negative and everything around you will be negative. It's funny how your thoughts and emotions control the outcome of your life. It's been difficult lately to not think that I'm regressing instead of progressing. I've been told by multiple people that I'm definitely moving forward, but it's hard for me to see it that way. I guess it's just been a really morbid and depressing week, what with going to different cemeteries and visiting most of my dead relatives (7 of them to be exact). That will take a toll on your mind and soul. Plus driving the 10hr round trip to go to one of the cemeteries then coming home to once again become stuck inside of my own head. I'm making it my mission to not only think positively, but act positively. We'll see how this goes. Maybe I need to start blogging on a regular basis again instead of only doing those picture challenges. Which, by the way, I totally enjoy and a new one is about to start up tonight or tomorrow. I hope everyone has a great week and a very Happy Easter!
 |
| Eddie, Uncle Larry, Aunt Buddy... |
God is cruel...
...sometimes he makes us live.
April 12, 2011
Day Twenty-Two... (Sad)
The first time I heard this song was on an episode of One Tree Hill. The episode was of Haleys moms funeral service. I have never cried so hard in my life because of a television show. I actually ran into my parents house and straight to my moms bedroom bawling my eyes out telling her how much I love her. So my pick for the saddest song is "I shall believe" by Sheryl Crow.
I shall believe
I shall believe
But the song I listen to when I'm sad is "Quicksand" by Bethany Joy Galeotti, who just so happens to play the aforementioned Haley on One Tree Hill.
October 24, 2010
When Life Hands You Lemons...
(I love quotes of all kinds. Funny, entertaining, inspirational, etc. I think these 88 statements are very true and in my opinion very inspiring and thoughtful. I hope others will be inspired as well.)
1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.
2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.
4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.
5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.
6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
9. Yelling always makes things worse.
10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
15. Nobody has it all figured out.
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.
20. People embellish everything, as a rule.
21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.
22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.
24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
26. Credit card debt devours souls.
27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.
29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.
31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.
36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.
38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.
39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.
43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.
45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.
47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.
49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.
54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
55. By default, people think far too much.
56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.
58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.
59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.
61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.
62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.
64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.
65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.
67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.
70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.
73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.
82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.
84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.
85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.
86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.
87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.
 |
| I chose a picture of Where the Sidewalk Ends because it was the first book I read as a kid that "inspired" me and made me think... |
1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.
2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.
3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.
4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.
5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.
6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
9. Yelling always makes things worse.
10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
15. Nobody has it all figured out.
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.
20. People embellish everything, as a rule.
21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.
22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.
23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.
24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
26. Credit card debt devours souls.
27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.
29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.
31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.
36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.
38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.
39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.
42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.
43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.
44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.
45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.
47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.
49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.
54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
55. By default, people think far too much.
56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.
58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.
59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.
61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.
62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.
64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.
65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.
67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.
70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.
73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.
82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.
84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.
85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.
86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.
87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.
Seven Year "Stitch"
 |
| My Art |
So this is my art. I started counted cross-stitching when I was 10 and I made my very first quilt. By the age of 12 I had made two quilts, christmas decorations for everyone in my family, plus little things for my friends. As the years have progressed so have I in terms of talent, size, and difficulty.
I'm not sure exactly how long this particular project took me but I know for sure it was over five years. It is approx. 1 1/2 ft. x 2 1/2 ft. which is around 100,000 stitches. I literally put my blood, sweat and tears into this project.
A lot of people can't believe that someone like me can actually do this. I'm not patient by any means, which is the number one characteristic a person much possess in order to be a successful cross-stitcher. However,I love doing this more than anything else life can offer. It calms me and makes me feel as though I'm good at something. It's something that no one can ever take away from me. It's mine. I made it.
I hope to share my art with the world someday. But for now I'll just be happy to let anyone who wants to see it, see it. And hopefully love it as much as I do. I will be posting more pictures of the rest of my creations on my facebook sometime in the near future. So feel free to browse. I love sharing...
Here's a preview of my next project...
 |
| My Next Project. (150,000 stitches approx. 25in x 36in) |
October 15, 2010
When I Grow Up...
When I Grow Up...
...I want to be me
 |
| When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life. |
- I want to be a sexual assault detective and help victims not just legally but emotionally...
- Own my house that I live in now so I can not only cherish my childhood memories but relive them every day...
- Be a person of great character that people not only respect but enjoy being around...
- I want to have children whether they are biological or adopted because no matter what they will be mine to love forever...
- I want to teach an English class...
- Have my own library filled with every book worth reading...
- Have built my own playground... For adults... Slides, Swings, Monkey Bars, etc. I want to remind my generation of what it means to feel free...
- I want to go sky diving so I can see the world the way loved ones see it from Heaven...
- Swim with sharks... and not in a cage...
- Travel to Denmark to learn more about my heritage...
- Learn to tap dance like Shirley Temple...
- Gamble at a casino just so I can hear someone say "winner winner chicken dinner"... of course I have to actually win first...
- I want to drive an army tank...
- I want to drive an actual nascar car... then my nickname would actually have real meaning...
- Visit all the lighthouses around the world. (ever since our Girl Scout overnight trip i've become in love with them)
- Make someone smile if only for a moment...
- I want to meet Brooks and Dunn and let them know how inspiring their twenty years of music was to me...
- I want to visit LegoLand...
- I want to thank all of the military people for everything they've done for us everyday...
- I want to feel good about myself and the decisions that I've made...
- Play soccer again...
- I want to inspire someone the way others have inspired me...
- I want to be as smart, independent, and strong like my parents...
- Put on my ballet shoes and dance one more time...
- Meet a real cowboy... and maybe fall in love with him...
- Have no regrets...
- Believe in myself and the good in people...
- Release myself of all grudges I have... Life is just too damn short...
When I Grow Up...
...I want to be me
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)