Day One

Im back.  Yet again. We'll see how long this lasts this time. Starting out small with picture a day challenges.  You can also follow me on instagram carolynnie1387

A word to the wise...



 I feel as though all I do now is get on here and write a blog about how I'm still here, I'm so busy, and I plan on writing more in the near future. Obviously I haven't fulfilled this goal of mine and obviously I'm here to write the same thing over again about still being here, being busy, and planning on writing more in the near future. I apologize to any of you (if there are any) who read this and have been waiting or have lost patience and have abandoned all hopes of me ever posting another blog. I hope in the very near future I will blog a lot more because God knows I have a shit load on my mind a lot that needs to be said. I will say one thing, I blog for me. If anyone takes anything away from what I write and uses it to their own benefit, that's awesome. I love helping people, relating to people, making people feel better and all that stuff... BUT I don't do this for people to go around having conversations about and make speculations. If you want to tell others about my blog because you think it's interesting and they should read it then by all means do so. But do NOT go around running your mouth about anything I say in here because you're "worried" about me or because you "assume" I said something that I didn't. I'm an adult and I think I have proven that time and time again as well as if you have something to say than you damn well better say it to my face. Nothing pisses me off more than people thinking I'm some little kid and when I say something "scandalous" my mom needs to be informed about it right away. Give me a fucking break. Everyone is more than welcome to leave comments (whether positive or negative) and I will respond. I will NOT tolerate people running their mouths about me without talking to me about it first. I have a huge problem with people who are too scared to confront me and go around letting gossip come from their loose lips. I know I'm talking in circles ranting and raving like a lunatic, but this shit has been pissing me off for some time now (basically since I started blogging). It's one of the main reasons I've been hesitant to write anything recently. Like I said before, I'm blogging for me. I love for people to read what I write whether you like what I have to say or not. But I don't need to feel as though I'm being judged for the things I say because I don't want to have to restrain myself from saying all the things that I want/need to say. If you think this is directed towards you, than that's your first mistake. Don't make assumptions. This blog post is directed to multiple people and the population in general. I hope y'all will continue to read my blog and that more and more people will start reading it as well.

I'm always going to be who I am...

...so quit trying to stop me.

Numb...

I feel numb. Literally, figuratively, all "ly's". Today has been a day of ups and downs starting with my pouring an entire cup of coffee down my stomach then trying to carry ten things at once and dropping my house keys before getting the door open. Things got better for a little while, I mean, it is my day off so there has to be some good to come of today, but then they went back to shit. I don't really feel like going into all of it right now because I am still a little too pissed off and I need to calm down before expressing my feelings through the written word, but yeah... Back to the numbness. In order to try and calm myself down and collect my thoughts I decided to go on a drive. I've explained in the past how driving helps me clear my head and ultimately make me forget the bull shit and relax. Tonight I went on a drive. In 57 degree weather with all the windows rolled down driving on the freeway in a tank top and shorts. As crazy as that all sounds, it definitely helped clear my mind. But also made me completely numb. I'm going to keep this post short and sweet because as I thaw out I'm starting to feel my anger build back up and I don't need that to happen again. There are so many things on my mind I haven't had time to sort through it all. I'm going to lose it pretty soon. With that said, I will definitely be posting some more rants and raves on here in the near future. (I know I said that a while ago, but I got busy with work. Yes, I actually have a real job. Crazy madness.) To those of you who still actually read this thing, thanks for being there for me through all my insanity and I hope y'all have a fabulous night!


Sometimes you are falling so slowly...

...you don't notice until you hit the ground.

How Long Gone...

Explanation coming soon...

Damn... it's been a long time. I'm not even going to go through the whole apology thing since I seem to be disappearing lately and reappearing weeks later. Things have been so crazy lately in my life that I haven't had any time or energy to do any blogging. But I'm back! I hope. I have so much to catch up on and I hope I can do so very soon. This is a pre-warning that some of my near future posts may have to do with things that have happened in the last few months while others may have to do with things that happened earlier this week. So stay tuned 'cause a whole shit load of blogs shall be coming your way very soon.

Thanks for hanging in there with me throughout this crazy journey we call life...

...Loves to all, Carolyn

p.s. Happy 4th to everyone! Hope no one got burned...

Photography Day Twenty-Five... Friends Forever.

Even though we've grown apart over the last few years, I still consider Nancy to be my best friend. We've been through a lot of shit together and apart but I've always been able to count on her. I wish I was able to see her more often, but growing up is sadly a part of life. I enjoy every time I am able to spend with her. She is one of the craziest, funniest, smartest, most loyal people I know and have ever known. Thank you Nancy for being such a positive impact on my life and the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

Nancy using me as a body pillow. Circa 2006

Photography Day Twenty... And these are a few of my favorite things.

I have a lot of things that I love and cherish and consider to be my favorite. But the things that I love and cherish that have the most meaning to me would be my salt and pepper shaker collection. They belonged to my Aunt Buddy (R.I.P.), so not are they only cute to look at, but they bring back wonderful memories of better days passed.

Photography Day Sixteen... ABC's.

Today is brought to by the letter L. Okay, for real, today's challenge is supposed to be of letters (not mail). I though long and hard about this because I guess I just don't have the artistic photographic gene in my DNA and I'm apparently not that great at coming up with awe-inspiring things. But hey, I'm doing my best and having fun with it. So for today I chose pictures of some of my tattoos. They have letters that symbolize relatives who have either passed or as a general I-love-you-so-I-permanently-embedded-my-body-with-a-foreign-substance.

First off, I'm not racist. This has nothing to do with the lighting bolts that the German officers had. These two S's represent both of my parents last names and some other family members. Still, Selvage, and Serritslev.

My very first tattoo. I got it in honor of my Uncle Larry (RIP). It still isn't yet finished but it serves it's purpose for now.

Photography Day Six... Colleagues...

Considering I work alone with no colleagues this day proved to be a little difficult. With that said, I chose to use a picture from a while back of me and one of my former colleagues a.k.a. my cousin, Ashley. We worked at Bakers Square together back in '07. It's scary to think about how long ago that was. But anyways...

How times have changed...

Photography Day Three... You have my heart...

So many times I have used my mom for the person whom I love, most admire, love hanging out with, closest friend, so on and so forth. Well, for this day, I'm going to use my mom again. I think that mother's, especially mine, are the most important people you can ever have in your life. They raise you, teach you, love you, care for you, and are always there for you no matter what. I love my mom more than anything in this entire world and devote todays photography challenge to her. Love the hell out of you Mommy.

Photography Day One... (Me)

Okay. So I know I started the Movie challenge and didn't follow through on it, but I decided that it just isn't the right time to go through with that challenge. So I have decided to switch gears. I'm going to do the photography challenge. This challenge takes more thought than simply finding pictures on the internet. This challenge will not only give me something to do when I'm bored, but it may bring inspiration and beauty into my every day life. So here's to day one... A picture of me...

Day Twenty-Six... (Instrument)

There's in only one song I know how to play and that's London Bridges on the piano. I don't even think I play it in the proper key, but it's the only thing I can even remotely play.

Day Twenty-Four... (Funeral)

I've had this planned out for a while. You may think it's morbid, but in my family when someone dies we like to put together a compilation of songs to remember that person. I want "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac to be playing at my funeral. I have specific instructions for how it needs to be played.  I want everyone attending to show up blasting that song out of the loudest speakers you can get for a car with the bass so loud you think there's an earthquake happening.

The Chain

"And if you don't love me now...

...you will never love me again."

Day Fifteen... (Description)

There are two songs that describe my life. The first song is "Blow Away" by Staind and the second is "What do you think about that" by Montgomery Gentry.


Blow Away

"I wish that I could disappear...
...unzip my skin and leave it here..."

Staind


What do you think about that

"I don't give a damn what other people think...
...what do you think about that..."

Montgomery Gentry

Day Six... (Rememberance Song of Somewhere)

This may sound ridiculous but the one song that reminds me of somewhere would have to be "Escape" by Rupert Holmes (people know this as the pina colada song). Every time I'd go down south (Carmel and Capitola) with my mom and usually my cousin Kristen we'd listen to Pina Coladas on repeat and sing our heads off. Good times.

Escape

"Do you like pina coladas...

...and getting caught in the rain"

Rupert Holmes

Day Twenty-Nine... (Smile)

3/17/11 Driving through Los Gatos with Glowsticks

This picture makes me smile because, honestly, who doesn't love glowsticks? This was taken after my cousin's 18th birthday party and I decided to go driving through downtown Los Gatos at 11pm. We had glowstick bracelets, necklaces, anklets, hats, balls, and an earring that I made. A totally great night. One that I'll never forget.

"Life is something that everyone...

...should try at least once."

Henry J. Tillman

Day Twenty-Eight... (Fear)

Day Twenty Eight... This picture is supposed to represent something that I'm afraid of. For this day I choose a picture of being alone. I am most afraid of being alone. I have had separation anxiety for many years now because of certain things I've gone through in my life. I'm scared that I am going to end up either completely alone, no family or friends, or I'll end up as that crazy cat lady who sits on the porch yelling at little kids all day. Hahaha. That option just cracks me up. But really, being alone scares the shit out of me.

3/16/11

I am not alone...

...because loneliness is always with me.

Day Twenty-Seven... (Family Member)

Todays picture is supposed to be of myself and a family member. That's easy...     (3/15/11)

Janelle, Tanya, Josh, Aunt Connie, Uncle Gaylon, Grandma, Mom, Jason, Me, Brandi

Ashley and Me

Me and Aunt Buddy

Me and Dad

Grandma, Bobo (the dog from hell), and Me

Me and Great Grandma

Jason and Me

Me and Uncle Lee

A family is a patchwork of personalities...

...tied together with heart strings.

Day Twenty-Six... (Meaningful)

3/14/11 Hoping this will be my next project

So today's picture is supposed to be of something that means a lot to me. Not someone, but something. So an inanimate object... hmm... I guess I would have to say my most meaningful something is... (oh man, this is so hard. I have so many things that I love and cherish)...  I'm gonna have to go with my sewing. My Grammy taught me how to sew when i was 10-11 years old and it's something that has stuck with me my whole life. I turned little sewing projects into huge pieces of art. And I am so frickin' Anal Annie when it comes to my sewing.

Day Twenty-Five... (My Day)

3/13/11 The amazing Margaritaville Blender

So I was so completely excited for this day. It was supposed to be a picture of your day, and it just so happened to land on my birthday. However, I lost almost all the pictures from my birthday because I accidentally (no matter what others are saying) flushed my phone down the toilet at Applebees before transferring my pics to my computer. Now, when I say I flushed my phone, I mean I FLUSHED my phone. It didn't just fall in the toilet and float. No, no. It went down the toilet into the drainage pipe and wherever toilet water goes from there. So sadly I only have a few pics from my wonderful 24th birthday. But it'll be a day I'll never forget.

"It takes a long time...

...to grow young."

Picasso

Picture Addiction...

So I've become completely addicted to those 30 Day Picture Challenge things on facebook. (I of course choose to blog about them instead of posting them on facebook, but same difference). Anyways, I have found a few more of those challenges, some longer than 30 days, and have decided to continue to post blogs accordingly. I don't always know what to say, or in the case type, so these 30 Day challenges are a way of helping me release inner emotions that I otherwise am not able to do. So bear with me people, and if anything, do the challenge yourself.

Otherwise...

...I just hope you enjoy my pictures from the world I live in.