How Long Gone...

Explanation coming soon...

Damn... it's been a long time. I'm not even going to go through the whole apology thing since I seem to be disappearing lately and reappearing weeks later. Things have been so crazy lately in my life that I haven't had any time or energy to do any blogging. But I'm back! I hope. I have so much to catch up on and I hope I can do so very soon. This is a pre-warning that some of my near future posts may have to do with things that have happened in the last few months while others may have to do with things that happened earlier this week. So stay tuned 'cause a whole shit load of blogs shall be coming your way very soon.

Thanks for hanging in there with me throughout this crazy journey we call life...

...Loves to all, Carolyn

p.s. Happy 4th to everyone! Hope no one got burned...

Photography Day Two... Room with a view...

Today is supposed to be a picture of the view from my bedroom window. Since I don't want anyone knowing where I live for personal reasons, I am using a picture from my old bedroom window. Plus I love the picture since it's all rainy and I love my car and miss it dearly.

Day Seventeen... (Impact)

My Room

Even though my house has ended up looking like a shit hole (thanks to a few certain someone's), it has been my home since I was 17. I have created so many memories in my little house, good and bad, and having to leave it has been weighing heavy on my heart. I know it's going to be for the better, and my parents will finally be able to fix it up, rent it out, and make some money, but it's sad. No one (other than family) knows where I'm moving to, and I'm going to keep it that way for as long as I can. I'm going to try and start anew. I want to make new memories that are better and create healthy long-lasting relationships with people that I can actually trust, and I think moving out will help me do this. This is a huge thing that is happening and it definitely is impacting my life at the moment. I just hope for the best and am trying to move on without looking back.

Moving on is a simple thing...

...what it leaves behind is hard.

2010: The year in full...

I have taken this idea of writing about all of the things (whether good or bad) that have happened over the past year from someone I have known my whole life. I want to dedicate this post to Camilla. She has been such an inspiration to me in more ways than one. If it wasn't for her and the things she so boldly and delicately writes about I wouldn't have had the courage or motivation to do so myself. I have found writing a blog, regardless of whether or not anyone reads it, has been incredibly helpful to me in many ways. The biggest way is that I can express how I feel without fear, get all of my feelings out in the open, and I don't have to worry so much about flying off the handle and losing my temper. So, Camilla, thank you for being such an inspiration to me and I'm sure many many others; and thank you for being such a wonderful person. I'm glad that we have reconnected in some way (through facebook or blogging). It was a joy to be your friend growing up and it's just as much if not more of a joy and enthrallment to have you as a friend now after so many years. So here's to you, Camilla, and all of my other readers... Happy New Year! and enjoy reading about my year in 2010...

• Opened the year in an abusive relationship surrounded by drugs and dishonest people
• Learned the meaning of a true friend
• Lost a loved one, a best friend, and the love of my life
• Gained new respect and understanding for myself and the world in which I live
• Received A's in my classes
• Am that much closer to fulfilling my dreams of being a police officer
• Learned how to shoot a gun
• Reconnected with old friends and family
• Dealt with the toughest times I've ever faced but continue to power through
• Got five different jobs after being unemployed for two years
• Won the battle of good versus evil in my own head
• Quit smoking and stopped all forms of drug intake
• Continued to develop my cooking skills
• Visited Cottonwood for the first time and saw everyone's head stones
• Alphabetized my movies (over 520 of them)
• Cleansed myself of all of the poisonous things and bad karma in my life
• Took as many pictures as possible to capture all the moments
• Turned 23 and had a jump house
• Went camping and was attacked by ninja raccoons
• Discovered Palo Alto has a zoo
• Only had two kidney stones instead of the normal five/year
• Made new friends that I actually trust and respect
• Closed the year with self respect, people I love and that are loyal, and have a new outlook on what's important and what exactly it is that I want

I haven't done many elaborate amazing things in my life, but I have come a long way from where I was at the beginning of the year. There have been many obstacles in the past 365 days and it has been a giant struggle to get through them. I am sure there are many more obstacles and problems to come, but I will continue to do my best to make it through and helping those I love along the way. So I welcome 2011 with open arms and hope it brings about happiness and tranquility for everyone out there.




The bad news is time flies...

...the good news is you're the pilot


HAPPY NEW YEAR!