Photography Day Twenty-One... Stranger Danger.

Um. Today is supposed to be a picture of someone I don't know. I know there is a way to do this artistically and make it look all pretty and shit, but to me it's just creepy and I don't want to look as though I'm stalking someone taking a random photo. So I'm going to go the relative route. When you think about it, how well do you really know someone? You don't. So with that said I decided to take a picture of someone I do "know" but yet is still a mystery all the same...

Jonny passed out. Fucking stoner...

Using a picture of Jonny was the more than obvious way to go for me. We were together for over 2yrs, I've known him since I was 16, and yet there has never been someone to surprise me as much as he has. And not in a good way. Like I said, how well do you really ever know someone?

Day Sixteen... (Love - Hate)

Wannabe

Today is supposed to be a song that I used to love but now hate. For this day I chose "Wannabe" by The Spice Girls. Hahaha. I used to listen to that song on repeat constantly. I think some of us actually learned and memorized the dance moves to the entire song. I was in 5th grade during the boy band, girl band, pop singer era. Looking back on those day scares the hell out of me. Thank God I grew up and learned what good music really is.


"Slam your body down...

...and zigazig ah..."

Spice Girls

Day Twelve... (Hated Band)

I write sins not tragedies

I don't care what anyone says, but I HATE Panic at the Disco. I don't know why, I just do. For once I'm not really into that genre of music plus they sound whiny all the time and it drives me up the wall. I guess it doesn't matter which song I pick because I can't stand any of them, but I really really really want to blow my brains out when I hear "I write sins not tragedies".

In my opinion they write tragedies...

...and the only sin is listening to them.

(no offense to those who like this band. to each his/her own. I just can't stand them as I'm sure others hate the music I listen to.)

Random Ramblings...

So I have been awake for almost 24hrs and not by choice. I have so many things on my mind that I need to get some of it off of my mind before I will even be able to close my eyes and think about sleep. So here goes with the most random thoughts...

1. I'm so tired of people asking me for my advice when they just turn around and go the complete opposite direction; and then complain about it because the outcome wasn't what they wanted.

2. This storm that's going on right now is freaking me out. I've always had this fear that the palm tree next door is going to crash through my wall and kill me. I HATE that palm tree. Not only do the stupid palm frawns fly off and hit my roof during stormy weather, but in the summer the squirrels like to climb up the tree and fuck (yes I said fuck) all day long while making this ear piercing squeaking noise. Stupid frickin' palm tree.

3. I can't get passed the pain that I'm feeling in my wrist. That I've been feeling in my wrist for well over a month. It really sucks not having medical insurance and not being able to find out if my wrist is broken. But i'll deal. Except the tiger balm is starting to make my eyes water because I accidentally rubbed it off onto my pillow. Whoops.

4. The possibility that I might be diabetic is scaring the living shit out of me. I've never had anything wrong with me to that extent and I just don't know how to feel about it.

5. The walls are finally starting to close in on me. The loneliness is creeping into my brain and my heart at a faster pace than ever before. I think it's just that time of  year when everything starts to unravel in my head and I think about all the losses in life and not having someone to talk to like I used to has just made it that much more difficult.

6. I want my package from amazon to arrive. I love getting birthday gifts. Especially when they consist of books and movies.

7. So much homework to do. I can't stop thinking about the different kinds of gun shot wounds, stab wounds, DNA evidence, livor and rigor mortis, and strangulations. (Lovely stuff I know. But that's what happens when you want to be a police officer).

Well, I guess that'll do for now. Hopefully this will help in relaxing my mind and get rid of the migraine I've been dealing with for three months. I guess I shall attempt sleep. Time to dream of sugar plum fairies dancing or whatever.

"I'm not asleep...

...but that doesn't mean I'm awake."

Day Eighteen... (Insecure)

Throughout this blog I have tired my damnedest to be completely open, honest, and no holding back... But for this "day" I can't follow through. My biggest insecurity is myself. For many reasons. Mainly physical appearance, but also my own mind sometimes makes me insecure. I don't feel comfortable going into detail about it. Not now, and maybe not ever. There are things about how I feel about myself that I will keep secret all the way to my grave. Maybe someday I'll be willing to open up just a little. This blog seems like the perfect place to do it.

Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad...

... but it’s the middle that counts the most.

Day Seventeen... (Impact)

My Room

Even though my house has ended up looking like a shit hole (thanks to a few certain someone's), it has been my home since I was 17. I have created so many memories in my little house, good and bad, and having to leave it has been weighing heavy on my heart. I know it's going to be for the better, and my parents will finally be able to fix it up, rent it out, and make some money, but it's sad. No one (other than family) knows where I'm moving to, and I'm going to keep it that way for as long as I can. I'm going to try and start anew. I want to make new memories that are better and create healthy long-lasting relationships with people that I can actually trust, and I think moving out will help me do this. This is a huge thing that is happening and it definitely is impacting my life at the moment. I just hope for the best and am trying to move on without looking back.

Moving on is a simple thing...

...what it leaves behind is hard.