Sum of all Tears...

So I kicked the New Year off at my Aunt and Uncles house, playing cards, laughing, enjoying the company that surrounded me, so on and so on...

I sent out my usual holiday text messages to family and friends and of course received responses right away. We continued to play cards (Hand and Foot to be exact) and then I received a message from my cousin. I stopped dead in my tracks. She informed me that her daughter, (my 24yr old cousin), has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She's 24 and is going to have to have a full hysterectomy. She will never be able to have children of her own. Will have to deal with radiation and chemo. And of course have to deal with the fact that she has cancer.

I would NEVER wish something horrible as cancer upon anyone. It was the worst way to start a New Year. There have been so many problems going on with my family lately (drama) that this was the straw the broke the camels back for me with my level of stress. Soon after receiving this horrible news, I was then informed that my Uncle was taken to the hospital because he was having breathing problems again. (I'm actually sitting in the hospital right now as I type this).

Further developments have informed us that my cousin has many options to get rid of this death ticket, but it's still so scary and heart breaking. My uncle will be okay (okay as one can be when they have emphysema, cancer, and COPD) because it's simply his COPD kicking into overdrive.

My mom is convinced that our family is cursed. I'm starting to believe it myself. Statistically we lose one family member every 1-2 years. It's a sad but true fact. All I can do is pray for the health of my family and hope that everyone has the best year of 2011 that they can.

It'd be nice if people could let go of the small things and realize that family is all  you have in the end, and holding grudges isn't going to help anyone in anyway. I miss the family that I've lost due to death, and I miss the family that I've lost due to immature quarrels. A family shouldn't be divided, especially in times of despair.

So this one's to you all of my family and loved ones. I wish things were different and loyalty was still there. I miss you all and the way it used to be. Maybe someday it'll be okay again.

(Ovarian Cancer) It whispers...

...so listen